Tail Or Leg

Say Goodbye to the Need for Approval!

This all begins with building the strength to go with what feels right for you. When you start doing this, you’ll no longer feel the urge to seek validation from other people. Start to become more self-aware, and pay attention to what behaviors make you feel good about yourself, regardless of how other people react. Reflect on and pay attention to the choices you’ve made, things you like about yourself, or times you’ve stayed true to yourself.

You have to start being honest with yourself when you take on a new commitment and really evaluate whether you’re doing it because it’s right for you, or because you want to gain approval and/or avoid disapproval.

Take your time before saying yes to a new task or commitment. Take a step back, sit down and review your schedule, then ask yourself: What’s really necessary and important, and what’s being driven by people-pleasing? Once this is clear, start slowly working through the approval-seeking list so you can re-evaluate. When you start noticing what you aren’t doing for yourself in order to gain other people’s approval, it will be easier for you to eliminate those tasks and replace them with things that allow for the growth of your personal goals.

I know how difficult it can be to change your approval-seeking behaviors. It isn’t easy to start making decisions that could potentially be disapproved of by others. You probably started seeking approval for a very good reason; in some situations, it probably seemed like the easier, less dramatic choice for you to make. Under certain circumstances, failing to seek other people’s approval can end in immediate negative consequences. However, avoiding confrontations time after time will have you living a life that’s missing your true values, which will inevitably have you questioning your worth as a person. Both paths bring their own set of negative consequences, so it’s ultimately up to you. But don’t forget: It is a choice, and the choice is ultimately up to you.