Psychological Fear
Psychological fear is unhelpful.
Whenever fear ceases to be real fear and becomes psychological, it becomes ego-driven fear. As the voice in the head gets going, it is prone to make a story out of the event, develop an attitude and opinion about it, and relive it in countless ways. This remembrance manifests as anger, complaints, comments and negativity. The longer the ego thinks about the incident, talks to itself about it, shapes a victim identity around it, and fashions it into a story to tell to others, the more personal the story becomes and the more anxious and offended the ego feels.
You will never overcome real fear. Nor should you. Ego-fear, however, can be overcome, if living from a place of peace and tranquility is your desire. And who is it that does not desire peace?
Here are the five most important ways to overcome fear.
1. Know the difference. Be aware of what you’re feeling, what triggered the physical and mental/emotional response, and make the distinction between the kind of fear or anxiety that you are feeling.
2. Recognize fear in its other guise: worry. This is the twin sister of fear, and while it may seem a little more socially acceptable, it is entirely ego-based, too. No less toxic, either. Worry is fear talking to itself, and it moves in one of two directions: Either toward the past or toward the future. Only what is now is real. So pay attention to the mental conversation you have around any fear you feel so that, when it begins to morph into worry — as all ego-fear eventually does — you can better handle it.
3. Pay attention to the mental noise that typically begins with “my.” Ego-fear and worry both concern themselves with the stuff that happened in “my life” (or didn’t happen, should have happened, shouldn’t have happened and so forth).
“My” may make you feel empowered in the moment, but eventually, “my” is isolating.
So when “my” arises, take a moment to listen to its surrounding statement. Is it charged with ego-fear and worry?
4. Observe your thoughts of fear and your physical reactions to them. Here is the key to overcoming fears: do not fight them. Why? Because you can’t win.
Don’t punish yourself, either, thinking you’ll never rid yourself of fear. Instead, observe your fears. In the East, this exercise is known as “the witnessing presence.” When you observe the conversations in your head, as well as the emotional reactions to those conversations, you put a little distance between you, the real you, and the you who is upset — the ego-self. This distance creates a space of peace, or what Zen Buddhists call “the space of no mind.” As you make this your spiritual practice, this space will widen, and your state of mind will increasingly relax. Your fears will disappear, too.
5. Know that it takes practice. Relaxing your mind takes repeated effort. However, those persons who discipline themselves in this regard will know “the peace that passes all understanding.” Observing your fear is the dissolution of fear. It is that simple, and I encourage you to practice this, over and over again, and see for yourself what happens.
