Your Feelings
If you really wants to learn how to support then first step is you need to understand your emotions.
Take Responsibility for Your Feelings:
Taking responsibility for your feelings is by far the most important level you can reach in emotional health.
Deal With Your Emotions as They Come Up:
Ignoring your emotions and feelings is like ignoring a persistent toddler. They will bother you until they get what they want, so it’s better to deal with them as they arise. Start by identifying the emotion that’s in your head—happiness, sadness, love, anger, hate, frustration, urgency, impatience, or desperation—and then target where you feel the emotion in your body. For example, feelings in relation to love are lightness in the heart, an airy head, or butterflies in the stomach. Feelings related to anger can be a “hot” head, a churning stomach, or tense muscles.
If frustration manifests itself as a growling stomach, you may be frustrated by hunger as opposed to the situation that set you off. Or perhaps you react negatively to a co-worker, but when you place your hand on your head to assimilate the emotion, you come to the conclusion that your anger is due to an email you read minutes before.
A great way to identify the emotion and link it to a feeling is to ask yourself the following questions:
What am I feeling?
Where am I feeling it in the body?
Why am I reacting this way?
Have I reacted this way to a similar situation before?
Is it possible to react differently?
While answering these questions, avoid judging yourself. You’re simply gathering evidence and clues to your reaction.
Once you’ve targeted the physical manifestation of your emotion, pay attention to your body. Take a few deep breaths into the area where your body is experiencing discomfort. As you breathe, notice how the discomfort starts to dissipate when you acknowledge it.
When you dissipate an emotions you become light and friendly with the person who needs your support. Not only you dissipate your emotions but also will help the person to become emotionally mature. This will encourage them to be responsible for the circumstances they are facing in that moment. They will be ready to take your support and drop their expectation for help.
Friendly people are caring people, eager to provide encouragement and support when needed most.
