Conscious Choice-Maker
Before we learn how to be Be a Conscious Choice-Maker, first we need to understand why we need to be Be a Conscious Choice-Maker.
The ability to make a conscious decision is one of the things that separate human beings from animals. We make choices and decisions all the time and our lives are filled with them, consciously and unconsciously. Some are rational; some are made out of emotions such as love or fear. Some decisions we make in a blink of an eye, some take us longer as we need to ponder a bit before we decide. Making decisions is part of who we are.
When our decision is from love or fear or in a blink of an eye, we become incapable of supporting anyone.
Be a Conscious Choice-Maker:
Once you’re aware of your feelings, you have a choice whether or not you wish to express them. You may think you don’t have a choice about what you’re feeling, but the choice is always yours. Your instinct might be to react in the same way you’ve always reacted, but you don’t have to.
The same stimulus or situation can create any emotional reaction you choose. If you don’t make assumptions, or if you entertain several different possibilities, you can choose calmness, curiosity, and freedom from your gut reactions.
Still there are situations that will invoke a strong emotional reaction. Suppose there’s a movie you want to see and you invite a friend to come along; your friend is late and you miss the beginning of the movie. This particular friend has been late in the past and you start to feel disappointment, anger, frustration, or maybe even rage when your friend shows up. But you stuff the feelings down and simply say, “Oh, that’s O.K. we’ve only missed a few minutes.”
A reaction like this doesn’t necessarily make you a conscious choice-maker because rather than expressing your feelings to your friend in a healthy manner, you negate them. Rest assured, they will creep up at a later time. Your choices of feeling and expressing are not in sync. In order to sync them up, you should say something, for example: “You’re a dear friend and I love you, but when you’re not on time I feel frustrated because I need you to respect my time. In the future, would you mind planning an extra fifteen minutes so that you’ll be on time?” This method, known as Conscious Communication, can help you process your emotions and feelings in a healthy way.
The above example is small but if you understand and practice in a small way even your friend has not asked any help or support but by Conscious Communication you made him responsible for his time consciousness. This is real support.
