React vs Respond
What’s the difference?
Let’s talk about reaction versus response. Some people use the words synonymously but to me there’s a world of difference.
A reaction is instant. It’s driven by the beliefs, biases, and prejudices of the unconscious mind. When you say or do something “without thinking,” that’s the unconscious mind running the show. A reaction is based in the moment and doesn’t take into consideration long term effects of what you do or say. A reaction is survival-oriented and on some level a defense mechanism. It might turn out okay but often a reaction is something you regret later.
A response on the other hand usually comes more slowly. It’s based on information from both the conscious mind and unconscious mind. A response will be more “ecological,” meaning that it takes into consideration the well-being of not only you but those around you. It weighs the long term effects and stays in line with your core values.
A reaction and a response may look exactly alike. But they feel different.
For example, say you are approached by a panhandler on the street and you give that person money. It’s a reaction if you gave that money out of fear or embarrassment or guilt. It’s a response if you gave that money from a solid sense of “I am here to help my fellow man in whatever form.” Or say you didn’t give that person money. Again, it’s a reaction if you didn’t give the money out of fear, disgust or anger. It’s a response if you didn’t give the money because you decide it’s wiser to give your money elsewhere.
We all know the difference. The point is that the more reacting we do, the less empowered we are. We’re operating from underlying assumptions and beliefs we’re not even aware of. And the results of doing that are somewhere between horrendous and less than stellar.
If your conscious goals are in conflict with your unconscious mind’s sense of survival, the unconscious will derail any efforts you try to make toward those goals.
That said, the unconscious can be an awesome partner to the conscious mind. It can provide the juice and energy to accomplish what you want. And, when it’s not freaking out trying to ensure your survival, it has a lot of intuitive wisdom to offer. To get to that point though, you need to spend some time working with the unconscious, helping it release the limiting beliefs, constrictive assumptions and negative emotions that no longer serve you.
