I Am Disturbed – In Gita Verse 11.23 O mighty-armed one, all the planets with their demigods are disturbed at seeing Your great form, with its many faces, eyes, arms, thighs, legs and bellies and Your many terrible teeth; and as they are disturbed, so am I.
Why, including Arjuna, was everyone disturbed?
When Krishna reveals his opulence form his form is centre and every other form is like a dust part of the mind which is disturbed.
Ordinarily, we go on moving to the object. If you move to the object, the dust part of your mind is disturbed, and you will feel, “‘l’ am disturbed.” If you move within the centre of your own being, you will be able to witness the dust part; you will be able to see that the dust part of the mind is disturbed, but “I am not disturbed.” And you can experiment upon this with any desire, any disturbance.
A sexual desire comes to your mind; your whole body is taken by it. You can move to the sexual object, the object of your desire. The object may be there, it may not be there. You can move to the object in imagination also. But then you will get more and more disturbed. The further you go away from your centre, the more you will be disturbed. Really, the distance and disturbance are always in proportion. The further away you are from your centre, the more you are disturbed; the nearer you are to the centre, the less you are disturbed. If you are just at the centre, there is no disturbance.
In a cyclone, there is a center which is undisturbed – in the cyclone of anger, the cyclone of sex, the cyclone of any desire. Just in the centre there is no cyclone, and a cyclone cannot exist without a silent centre. Anger also cannot exist without something within you which is beyond anger.
Remember this: nothing can exist without its opposite. The opposite is needed there. Without it, there is no possibility of it existing. If there were no centre within you which remains unmoved, no movement would be possible there. If there were no centre within you which remains undisturbed, no disturbance could happen to you. Analyse this and observe this. If there were no centre of absolute un-disturbance in you, how could you feel that you are disturbed? You need a comparison. You need two points to compare.
Suppose a person is ill: he feels illness because somewhere within him, a point, a centre of absolute health exists. That is why he can compare. You say that your head is aching. How is it that you know about this ache, this headache? If you ‘were’ the headache, you could not know it. You must be someone else, something else – the observer, the witness, who can say, “My head is aching.”
This ache can be felt only by something which is not the ache. If you are ill, you are feverish, you can feel it because you are not the fever. The fever cannot feel that there is fever; someone is needed who is beyond it. A polarity is needed. When you are in anger, and if you feel you are in anger, it means that a point exists within you which is still undisturbed and which can be a witness. You may not look at that point, that is another thing. You may not see yourself at that point, that is another thing. But it is there always in its pristine purity; it is there.
Person who has seen that point is only a master of oneself can transcend anguish.
Let me remind you again, the story of Buddha: Buddha was passing by a village, and some people gathered there. They were against him, and they insulted him. Buddha listened, and then he said, “I am to reach the other village in time, so can I go now? If you have said whatsoever you have come to say, if it is finished, then I can move. Or, if you have to say something more to me, while returning I will wait here. You can come and tell me.”
Those people were just surprised. They couldn’t understand. They had been insulting him, using bad words, abusing him, so they said, “But we are not saying something to you, we are abusing and insulting you.”
Buddha said, “You can do that, but if you want any reaction from me you have come late. Ten years before, if you had come with such words, I would have reacted. But now I have learned how to act, I am a master of myself now; you cannot force me to do anything. So you will have to go back. You cannot disturb me; nothing can disturb me now because I have known my own centre.”
This knowledge of the centre or this grounding in the centre makes you a master. Otherwise you are a slave, and a slave of so many – not only of one master, but of many. Everything is a master, and you are a slave to the whole universe. Obviously, you will be in trouble. With so many masters pulling you in so many directions and dimensions, you are never together; you are not in unity, and pulled in so many dimensions, you are in anguish. Only a master of oneself can transcend anguish.
If you will read this verse Arjuna has mentioned various names including him. Arjuna himself has got Divine eyes from Krishna but not through his meditation. So all these names which he has mentioned have still not found their own centre.
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