There was once a huge dragon in China who went from village to village killing cattle and dogs and chicken and people indiscriminately. So the villagers called upon a wizard to help them in their distress.

The wizard said, “I cannot slay the dragon myself, for magician though I am, I am too afraid. But I shall find you the one who will.”

With that he transformed himself into a dragon and took up position on a bridge so everyone who did not know it was the wizard was afraid to pass. One day, however, a traveler came up to the bridge, calmly climbed over the dragon, and walked on.

The wizard promptly took on human shape again and called to the person, “Come back, my friend – I have been standing here for weeks waiting for you!”

Be Non-Possessive

Wizard had clarity for himself and about his limitations. Because of his clarity he was courageous enough to say that what he helped and what he can offer to the village.

If you want to find out a possibility in any circumstances then you need to have clairy for yourself and don’t judge yourself. Instead focus on the possibility to find a solution in that circumstances. Also who else can be of help to you.

Spirituality is not in the scriptures it is Here and Now. What all the enlightened people have told you to be with yourself is not outside this world but where you are. Every moment gives you opportunity to Accept Yourself and Be With Yourself.

We always question that it is very easy to be with others but when the question comes to be with ourselves why so difficult? The only reason is we can be with others because our ego is satisfied. Instead of being with others, if you have to participate with others it will be difficult. Because ego doesn’t want to share and give. Ego wants you to be possessive. Existence wants us to be Emperor and Sharer.

Existence wants you to have everything without possessiveness.

Do not become possessive. The purpose of a relationship is to complement each other, grow together, and achieve your common goals as a together. At the same time, you must each maintain your individual identity as a human being.

In the beginning, everything is mixed — as if mud is mixed in gold. Then one has to put the gold into fire: all that is not gold is burned, drops out of it. Only pure gold comes out of the fire. Awareness is the fire; love is the gold; jealousy, possessiveness, hatred, anger, lust, are the impurities.

What you are doing, be aware, observe it, and then go on meditating. Soon you will begin to feel the change. Now there is no possessiveness in relationships. By and by, possessiveness disappears. And when possessiveness is not there, a relationship has a beauty of its own. When possessiveness is there, everything becomes dirty, ugly, inhuman.

Learning from the story Accept Yourself: Be Non-Possessive

Experience Learning

To understand non-possessiveness, it is essential to understand possessiveness. There are great misconceptions about possessiveness. Possessiveness is not about having things, it refers to the feeling of ownership over things. Parigrah means possessiveness. It has nothing to do with how many things you have. It all depends on the attitude with which you relate to those things, in what way you are connected to them. And we are not only possessive about things, we are also possessive towards people Possessiveness is nothing but another dimension of violence.

Only a violent person is possessive. As soon as I claim ownership of someone or of something, I have immediately moved into deep violence. Without being violent, it is impossible to be an owner. Ownership is violence. Ownership of things is one prevailing matter, but we even hold ownership over human beings. Why is there such desire in man’s heart to possess? Why is there such desire to possess someone? Why is there such interest in becoming the owner of someone else? It is an interesting phenomenon – it is because we are not masters of ourselves.

For someone who becomes his own master, this idea of ownership disappears.

But we are not our own masters and throughout life we compensate for this lack by possessing others. But even if one becomes the owner of the whole earth this lack cannot be compensated for. Because the bliss which comes with being the master of oneself is altogether unique, and becoming a master of others brings nothing but misery. To be the master of oneself is bliss, to be the master of others is always a suffering. Hence, the greater the ownership the greater the misery that arises.

In becoming the possessors and owners of others, we spend our whole lives trying to compensate for that one lack of not being our own masters, of not being emperors unto our own selves. It is like someone trying to quench his thirst with fire and the thirst goes on increasing. Thirst cannot be quenched with fire. Likewise mastery of oneself cannot be attained by becoming a master of others. Rather, and the interesting point is that the more we become master of others, the more we become a slave of the enslaved.

Ownership is actually a double slavery. The one whose master we become certainly becomes our slave, but we also become his slave. The master is also the slave of his slave. However much the husband becomes the master over the wife, he becomes her slave too. And however great an empire the emperor might own, he becomes a complete slave to it. He also becomes a slave to fear, because those we make dependent upon us also become afraid, and then opposition and rebellion towards us begins. And they also want to make us dependent.

A man was taking a cow tied with a rope towards the jungle and a sannyasin was passing on the road. The man was dragging the cow towards the jungle. A sannyasin stopped and said to the people of the village, “I want to ask a question. Is this cow tied to the man or is the man tied to the cow?” The people of the village said, “It is clear that the cow is tied to the man.” Then the sannyasin asked, “If the cow runs away will the man run after her or not?” They said, “He would have to run.” The sannyasin said, “The cow is tied with a very visible rope and the man is tied with a very invisible rope.”


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