No Lust

Sunflower

Have you seen the sunflower? That is the symbol for the disciple. Wherever the sun moves, the sunflower moves that way. It is always present to the sun. In the morning it is facing east, in the evening it is facing west. It has moved with the sun. Wherever the sun is, the sunflower moves. The sunflower is the symbol, the metaphor, for the disciple.

Buddha is asking, “Do you think, Subhuti, I have learned anything from Dipankara?” Subhuti says, “Not so, O Lord” – because there is nothing to learn. Does it mean Buddha is ungrateful to Dipankara? No, not at all. When he became enlightened, the first gratitude was towards Dipankara who had disappeared into the infinite long long ago, not even a trace was left behind. He exists only in the memory of Buddha, nowhere else.

About Dipankara – there exists no scripture. Maybe in those days scriptures were not written. There exists no other reference about him. Buddha is the only sole reference. Three thousand years have passed, nobody knows anything about Dipankara; but when Buddha became enlightened the first gratitude, the first thankfulness, was towards Dipankara. Why? Because it was in his presence that the longing became a passion – to become a buddha. It was in his presence that the great desire to become a buddha arose. It was in his presence that the bud of Gautama started dreaming of becoming a flower. It was in his presence that the dream unfolded. Three thousand years it took to drop the hindrances, the obstacles, but what are three thousand years in the eternity of time? Nothing…just a few moments.

Why is Buddha asking Subhuti? So that Subhuti can understand that there is nothing to be learned from Buddha. Buddha himself has not learned anything from Dipankara, so “There is nothing, Subhuti, to learn from me. Be with me, don’t think in terms of learning. The moment you think in terms of learning you are not with me.”

Here also there are two types of people – the disciples and the students. The students are those who are in search of learning something. They are here to gather something so that they can brag and say that they know this and they know that. They are just collecting colored stones while diamonds are available.

The disciple is one who is not interested in knowledge, who is interested in being, who is interested just to be here with me, for no other reason, for no other motive. His heart has been touched, his dream has started unfolding, a great intense desire is arising in him.

A disciple is one who has become immensely interested in being – in truth itself, not knowing about it. She is not afraid of death, she is afraid death may come in and may disturb the intimacy that is arising between me and her. Death may come and may disrupt the presence that she is drinking, the presence that is going into her being and changing a thousand and one things in her soul – that is the fear.

A disciple is one who does not bother about knowing but is interested in being. Not that he wants to know something about God, but that he wants to taste called God, to drink out of that reservoir called God, to become part of that oceanic energy.