Mysterious Wall

Pattern Of Life

It is like when you are too worried, too tense and you take alcohol. Yes, for a few hours you will forget all your worries and all your tensions, but the alcohol cannot take your worries away forever; it cannot solve them. And while you are drowned in alcohol those worries are growing, becoming stronger; you are giving them time to grow. And when you are back the next morning with a hangover and a headache added to the worries, you will be surprised; they are bigger than when you had left them.

Then it becomes a pattern of life: become again and again intoxicated so you can forget – but again and again you have to face your life. This is not an intelligent way to live.

I am against all intoxicants, against all drugs. They don’t help; they only help you to postpone problems. I would like to really solve your problems. I have solved mine, and the problems are the same, more or less. I can bring you closer to me so you can feel my heart and you can see through my eyes and you can feel what has happened. And that feeling, that taste, will become a magnetic pull on you.

It is not a conviction, it is not a belief – it creates trust. And once trust is created the journey has started. I know, Ram, you need great help. I have looked into your eyes – just once you have been here and just once I have looked into your eyes – they look very sad. You must be carrying great anguish inside yourself.

On the outside you are a successful man, the topmost criminal advocate in this country. On the outside you are successful in every way – a member of the parliament, president of the lawyers association of India – but deep down I have seen, just a passing glimpse, that you are sitting on a volcano. I have seen great anguish in your eyes, great tears just waiting to flow from your eyes. You are not in any way blissful.

I can make you blissful – why ask for convictions? – I can give you the real experience. My whole effort here is not to give beliefs to people but experiences, not to help them superficially but really to transform them. I am absolutely available to you. And you cannot escape me for long.

Ram is also my advocate and he enjoys telling people that “I am God’s advocate.” But to be my advocate is to be in danger; sooner or later you will be trapped. Maybe that’s why I have chosen you as my advocate, so that you can come closer to me. My ways are devious.

A great love has arisen in you for me. Now, that love is the first flower of the spring; much more is on the way.

But remember, my whole approach is that of existential experience. I don’t want you to be believers, I would like you to experience on your own; I don’t want to convince you. What I am saying is my experience: there is no death. I am not saying to you, “Believe that there is no death.” I am simply expressing, sharing my experience that there is no death. It is a challenge! It is not an effort to convince you, it is a challenge to come and explore. You are welcome. Think of me as your home!