Tail Or Leg

The Importance of Knowing Yourself

How Is Approval-Seeking Holding You Back From Your True Self?

Without realizing it, you may be negatively impacting your effectiveness by seeking others’ approval. This is because you probably avoid doing things that are important to you, feel anxious about trying new things outside your comfort zone, and get stuck worrying about what others might expect from you. Needing approval may lead you to reject potential opportunities, because you’re too anxious and believe your performance has to be perfect. It may cause you to fear failing so much that you give up before you start.

This is why it’s important to focus on how your need for approval is holding you back from doing tasks that are important to you. Once you move past this, you’ll be free to achieve and create what you want in life with much less stress, because you won’t be so consumed with worrying about what others will think.

Even though you’re probably a high achiever, who regularly gets seemingly positive results, you’re often getting those results at the expense of everything else. When you’re driven to achieve solely because you want to impress others, you wind up doing too much, feeling overwhelmed, getting lost in your thoughts about your challenges, people-pleasing, overworking, avoiding making time for yourself, and constantly finding yourself unable to say no.

If you can relate, try focusing on how your need for approval is pushing you to do too much, instead of participating in things that are important to you. When you find yourself getting hurt by doing things for others at the expense of yourself, it’s time to make a change.

The Importance of Knowing Yourself

When others’ acceptance of you impacts how you make decisions about where to spend your time, you lose awareness of what’s important to you, what drives you, and what makes you happy. You might feel stuck doing work you don’t particularly enjoy and continue habits that are counterproductive. If this feels true for you, it’s time to focus your energy on getting in touch with what really matters to you. Start asking yourself questions like: What do I value? What keeps me awake at night? How is it that I prefer to spend my time? Start to listen to what you really want for your life, and align your actions with your values, principles, and goals. When you live in line with what you value, your life becomes much simpler and more effortless.

Instead of making decisions based on what others will approve of, start making them based on what’s right for you. When you make conscious choices about how to spend your time and are committed to doing what’s valuable to you, you’re able to create your own life. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to be — or appear — constantly busy in order to be successful. As an alternative, you can see success as a measure of doing what matters to you.