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Finding Your Own Definition of a True Friend

Everyone has their own ideal friend. In addition to the qualities shared by all true friends, you may want a friend who shares your interests or goals. Or, you might want to spend time with people who are different from you in ways that challenge you to grow as a person. If your current friends let you down, redefining true friendship can open the door to a rich, rewarding relationship.

Much like our personal styles, we all may have different needs and desires when coming to friendship. You may also come to recognize that some differences are able to support you in some areas of life while you may have another friend that you rely on for support in another area of your life. Expanding the friendships that make up your support system can help ensure that your needs are adequately being met. No friend is perfect, and no friend will be able to be everything to you. Even true friends will sometimes disappoint us. What matters most is how they respond to your feelings and the patterns they establish. Have the disappointments you are experiencing in your friendship become habits? A true friend cares about you and is able to have concern and respect for your thoughts and emotions even when they may not agree. If the disappointment you are experiencing in a friendship has become consistent, it may be time to redefine your definition of a true friend.

A true friend is someone who has your back when things are going very wrong in your life.

A true friend is someone who keeps their promises, and makes you want to keep yours, too.

A true friend is someone who neither leads nor follows, but walks with you.

You’ll know when you find them. Maybe you’ll start off as strangers, and get to know each other slowly. Maybe things will fall into place quickly after that—“Oh, you do this too?! I thought I was the only one!”—and you realize you have more in common than you thought previously.

Contrary to popular belief, your ideals and beliefs about life in general don’t have to match to be great friends. A few of my friends have belief systems that are radically different from my own, but all of us still get along (for the lack of better words) like whipped cream on an ice cream sundae (or with coffee, if that’s your thing).

True friends are like family.

It’s hard to describe when friends go from being just friends to really close friends. You don’t normally have a single moment where you can say oh hey this person is different and friendlier.