Habitual Egoic Behavior

The more you check your habitual egoic behavior, the more you will see how much of your life is conditioned by selfish desires and aversions. Under the delusion that we are separate beings inhabiting a world of external objects, it seems the only way to attain happiness is to acquire the things we like and avoid the things we don’t like. Far from bringing us true happiness, however, this strategy actually increases our suffering, because the ‘things’ we try to acquire or avoid are, in reality, as impermanent as mirages. This is why Jesus cautioned us not to set our hearts on the treasures of this world, which “moths eat and rust corrupts,” and why the Hindu saint, Anandamayi Ma, warned:

Everything in this world is transitory. So also worldly happiness: it comes and the next moment it is gone. If permanent, abiding happiness is to be found, That which is eternal will have to be realized.

Even when we are able to hang onto some particular object for a time, this only creates an attachment, and becoming attached to anything, only sets us up for greater frustration, anguish, or grief when we lose it. Consequently, the more we can renounce actions based on our self-centered likes and dislikes, the more we can free ourselves from attachments and the whole syndrome of suffering they cause.

But just as we are not fully aware of our thought processes, so we are usually not fully aware of our attachments, or the power they have to bind us. The best way to become mindful of attachments is to vow to renounce for a time some object or activity around which you suspect an attachment has been formed. Since different people become attached to different things, these kinds of renunciate vows should be “customized” to suit your individual personality. If you are indifferent to food, for instance, there is little point in fasting. On the other hand, if your happiness seems to depend on the quantity or quality of the things you eat, then adopting some form of dietary discipline can be highly instructive.

A common mistake beginners often make when undertaking specific renunciate vows is to confuse them with New Year’s style resolutions. For one thing, spiritual renunciation is not something that can be brought about all at once by a single act of will. Rather, as in the case of meditation and morality, renunciate vows must be practiced over a period of time. Nor are such vows designed to make you into a “better person.” Their real purpose is to provide opportunities for gaining insight into your own ego and how it functions. Thus, even when you fail to live up to some particular vow, there is much to learn about the compulsive nature of your desires and attachments, and how ephemeral the satisfactions gained from fulfilling them actually are. For this reason, renunciate vows should not be undertaken as some kind of duty, but in the spirit of a scientific experiment designed to show you something about yourself. A good way to begin a vow is to ask yourself, “What would happen if I gave up this thing or that activity for six months?”

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