Leave Me Alone – In Gita Verse 18.55 One can understand Me as I am, as the Supreme Personality of Godhead, only by devotional service. And when one is in full consciousness of Me by such devotion, he can enter into the kingdom of God.
When Krishna says – One can understand Me as I am – he means one who has understood Who Am I. He is fully conscious of Godliness, Existence, Universe.
With this question will arise in us – What is more important – to be thyself or to know thyself?
Do you think they are different? How can you know yourself if you are not yourself? And vice versa – how can you be yourself if you don’t know who you are? To be thyself and to know thyself are not two separate things, hence the question of choice does not arise. They are two aspects of a single process.
You have to work on both together simultaneously; neither can be neglected. But it is easier to start from being thyself; easier, because you have been distracted from yourself by others. The masks that you are carrying are not your own imposition. Unwillingly, reluctantly, you have been forced to be someone other than you are; hence it is easier to throw it off.
Slavery of any kind is easier to get rid of, because intrinsically who wants to be a slave? That is not in the nature of any being, human or not human. Slavery is against existence; hence it is easier to throw it off. It always remains a burden, and deep down you continue to fight with it, even though on the surface you follow it; deep down nobody can make you accept it. At the innermost core of your being it remains rejected forever; hence it is easier to throw it off.
The process is simple. Whatever you are doing, whatever you are thinking, whatever you are deciding, remember one thing: is it coming from you or is somebody else speaking? And you will be surprised to find out the real voice; perhaps it is your mother – you will hear her speak again. Perhaps it is your father; it is not at all difficult to detect. It remains there, recorded in you exactly as it was given to you for the first time – the advice, the order, the discipline, the commandment.
You may find many people: the priest, the teachers, the friends, the neighbors, the relatives. There is no need to fight. Just knowing that it is not your voice but somebody else’s – whosoever that somebody else is – you know that you are not going to follow it. Whatsoever the consequences, good or bad, now you are deciding to move on your own, you are deciding to be mature. You have remained a child long enough. You have remained dependent long enough. Enough you have listened to all these voices and followed them. And where have they brought you? In a mess.
So once you figure out whose voice it is, say goodbye to it…because the person who had given that voice to you was not your enemy.
His intention was not bad, but it is not a question of his intention. The question is that he imposed something on you which is not coming from your own inner source; and anything that comes from outside makes you a psychological slave.
It is only your own voice which will lead you into a blossoming, into freedom.
Yes, the path in the beginning will look dangerous, because you were always holding the hand of your father, your priest, your rabbi, your mother; and when a child is holding the hand of the father there is no fear, no danger. He can rely on the father. But now you are holding his hand only in imagination; there is no father, it is pure imagination. And it is better to know that you are alone and there is no hand supporting you, because then you will try to find your own way to protect yourself against dangers.
It is dangerous to go on believing that you are still protected when you are not really protected. That’s what has happened to millions of people in the world. They feel they are protected – protected by God, protected by all kinds of things.
There is no God.
There is nobody to protect you.
You are alone, and you have to accept your aloneness joyously.
In fact, it is a tremendous ecstasy that nobody is holding your hand.
So first find out the voices within you – and it is simple. Whenever you are deciding to do something, just sit silently and listen to the voice that is telling you to do this or not to do this. And try to find out whose voice it is. Once you have found it is your father, your mother, your uncle, your teacher, your aunt, your brother, it is very easy; then thank your brother and tell him: “It is so good of you; although you are dead still you are taking care of me. But please, now leave me alone.”
Once you have said a certain voice clearly: “Leave me alone,” your connection with it, your identity with it, is broken. It was capable of controlling you because you were thinking it was your voice. The whole strategy was the identity. You were thinking: “This is my voice, this is my thought,” hence you were doing what it said. Now you know it is not your thought, not your voice; it is something foreign to your nature. Recognising it is enough. Just be grateful to your father: “You are still taking care of me but I don’t need any more care. You have made me mature enough that now I can start taking care of myself.”
Get rid of the voices that are within you, and soon you will be surprised to hear a still small voice, which you have never heard before; you cannot decide whose voice this is. No, it is not your mother’s, it is not your father’s, it is not your priest’s, not your teacher’s…then a sudden recognition that it is your voice. That’s why you are not able to find its identity, to whom it belongs.
It has been there always, but it is still a very small voice, because it was suppressed when you were a very small child and the voice was very small – just a sprout, and it was covered with all kinds of crap. And now you go on carrying that crap and you have forgotten the plant that is your life, which is still alive, waiting for you to discover it.
Krishna says discover your voice. Then follow it with no fear.
Wherever it leads, there is the goal of your life, there is your destiny. It is only there that you will find fulfillment, contentment.
It is only there that you will blossom – and in that blossoming, knowing happens.
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