Firm Boundaries
Stop getting lost in the future or the past so much.
When you focus too much of your attention on what happened and replaying it over and over or on imagining the future then that usually leads to worries. To feeling, paralyzed in fear by the things you magnify in your mind from the past or a possible future.
What to do instead:
- Be here now. By being here and now you don’t obsess about the past or create worries or overthink things that are or might be coming up in the future. Of course, it is good to plan for the future and to learn from the past. But in my experience that seems to happen pretty naturally and in a more balanced way when you focus on spending most of your time in the present moment.
- Reconnect with the present moment when you get lost. If I do drift away into the past or future during my day then I usually sit down for a minute or two and use all my senses to take in what is happening around me. The sounds, the sensations, what I see and what I can smell. That usually brings me back to the now again.
Stop working without any firm boundaries.
If you have no boundaries for your work hours then you can easily get lost in working too much and in stressful thoughts about your job/school going round and round in your head.
Even when you are spending quality time with your family. Or as you toss and turn and try to go to sleep.
What to do instead:
- Set a stop time. Taking breaks every hour during your work hours is important. Putting a stop to your work day and doing other things is just as important to keep the overthinking, stress and overwhelm away. So if you’re in school or have your own business set a stop time for your work day. If you go to a regular job do not bring the job home.
- Make a firm decision to spend your evenings with other things than thinking about your work. Fill that time with other activities that recharge and relax you.
- Remind yourself or the consequences. When you catch yourself with floating back into work thoughts or school thoughts, remind yourself of the consequences of doing so. Such as increasing stress levels, missing the other important parts of your life like friends and family, reinforcing negative habits like overthinking and the risk of having a burnout.
Stop thinking that you’ll stay focused on this challenge without any help.
It’s easy to get lazy or overestimate your own memory when trying to make a change in habits.
Don’t go down that road.
Because it will make it a lot less likely that you stick with it until you have made a change in habits that truly sticks.
What to do instead:
Be conscious of your challenge. Find ways to stay aware and to remind yourself of how you are thinking.
- A written reminder. A written reminder posted somewhere where you cannot avoid seeing it every day with words like: “Keep things extremely simple” or “Am I overcomplicating this?” can work wonders. Especially during a tough day when you are likely to revert back to your old and familiar habits.
- A silent vibration on your cell phone. An alarm with just a silent vibration on your cell phone a couple of times a day can remind you to snap out of overthinking or the past or future and help you to build positive thought habits.
