VBT – Meditation 78.3
Own Being
A seeker is one who has come to understand the futility of so-called worldly life. A seeker is one who has understood one thing: that something needs to be done immediately about his own being. If he goes on drifting in the old way, he will lose the whole opportunity of this life. A seeker is one who has become alert that up to now he has lived wrongly, has moved in wrong directions, has been too concerned with things and not concerned with himself, has been too concerned with worldly prestige and power and has not been concerned about who he is. A seeker is one who is turning toward himself, paravritti. A seeker is a miracle – the energy is moving back toward oneself.
Ordinarily the energy is moving away from you, toward things, targets, in the world. The energy is moving away from you, hence you feel empty. The energy goes away, never comes back; you go on throwing energy away. By and by you feel dissipated, frustrated; nothing comes back. By and by you start to feel empty; the energy is just oozing out every day. And then comes death. Death is nothing else but that you are exhausted and spent. The greatest miracle in life is to understand this and to turn the energy toward home. It is a turning in. This turning in, paravritti, is sannyas.
It is not that you leave the world. Live in the world, there is no need to leave anything or go anywhere else. Live in the world but in a totally different way: now you live in the world but you remain centered in yourself, your energy goes on returning to yourself.
You are no longer outgoing, you have become ingoing. Of course you become a pool of energy, a reservoir, and energy is delight, sheer delight. Just energy there, overflowing, and you are in delight and you can share and you can give in love. This is the difference. If you put your energy into greed it never comes back; if you put your energy into love it comes back a thousandfold. If you put your energy into anger it never comes back. It leaves you empty, exhausted, spent; if you use your energy in compassion it comes back a thousandfold.
So now I will tell you what a good seeker is. A good seeker is one who has understood this fundamental law of life: that giving love, it comes back a thousandfold. Give in anger and it is gone forever; give in greed and it is gone forever. Share it and it is never gone; on the contrary, you are enriched.
When I say “a good seeker” I don’t mean a moral or immoral sannyasin: my word good has nothing to do with morality. It is something to do with what Buddha calls aes dhammo sanantano, what Buddha calls the eternal law of life.
A good man is an understanding man. A good man is alert, aware, that’s all. Awareness is the only value for me, all else is meaningless. Awareness is the only value for me, so when I say “a good seeker,” I mean a seeker who is aware. Of course when you are aware you behave according to the law, the fundamental law. When you are unaware you go on destroying yourself, you go on being suicidal.
If you behave according to the fundamental law you will be enriched tremendously. Your life will become richer and richer every moment. You will become a king. You may remain a beggar in the outside world, but you will become a king, a pinnacle of inner richness. What Jesus calls the kingdom of God is within you. You will become a king of the kingdom that is within you – but more awareness is needed.
So don’t misunderstand me. When I say “a good sannyasin” I don’t use the word in any moralistic sense. I use it in a more fundamental sense because to me morality is just a byproduct of awareness, and immorality is a shadow of unawareness. I am not concerned with shadows and byproducts; I am concerned with the fundamental, with the essential.
Be aware and you will be good, be unaware and you will be bad.
Tags: Own Being
