VBT – Meditation 87.1
Total Unit
This sutra says this: I AM EXISTING. Go deep into this feeling. Just sitting, go deep into this feeling – I AM EXISTING, I AM. Feel it, don’t think it, because you can say it in the mind – I AM – and it is futile. Your head is your undoing. Don’t go on repeating in the head I AM, I AM EXISTING. It is futile, it is useless. You miss the point.
Feel it deep down in your bones. Feel it all over your body. Feel it as a total unit, not in the head.
Just feel it – I AM. Don’t use the words ‘I am’. Because I am relating to you, I am using the words. ‘I am’. And Shiva was relating; to Parvati, so he had to use the words ‘I am existing’. Don’t. Don’t go on repeating. This is not a mantra. You are not to repeat I AM EXISTING, I AM EXISTING. If you repeat this you will fall asleep, you will become self-hypnotized.
If you go on repeating a certain thing, you become auto-hypnotized. First you get bored, then you feel sleepy, and then your awareness is lost. You will come back from it very much refreshed, just like after a deep sleep. It is good for health, but it is not meditation. If you are suffering from insomnia you can use chanting, a mantra. It is as good as any tranquiliser, or even better. You can go on repeating a certain word: repeating constantly in a monotonous tone you will fall asleep.
Anything that creates monotony will give you deep sleep. So psychoanalysts and psychologists go on telling people who suffer from insomnia to just listen to the tick-tock of the clock. Go on listening to it and you will fall asleep, because the tick-tock becomes a lullaby.
The child in the mother’s womb sleeps continuously for nine months, and the heart of the mother goes on… tick-tock. That becomes a conditioning, a deep conditioning – the continuous repetition of the heart. That’s why whenever someone takes you near his heart, you feel good. Tick-tock – you feel sleepy, relaxed. Anything that gives monotony gives relaxation; you can fall asleep.
In a village you can sleep more deeply than in a city, because a village is monotonous. The city is not monotonous. Every moment something new is happening; the traffic noises go on changing. In a village everything is monotonous, the same. Really, in a village there is no news, nothing happens; everything moves in a circle. So villagers sleep deeply, because life around them is monotonous. In a city, sleep is difficult, because life around you is very sensational; everything changes.
You can use any mantra: RAM, RAM, AUM, AUM – anything. You can use Jesus Christ; you can use Ave Maria. You can use any word and monotonously chant it; it will give you deep sleep. You can even do this: Raman Maharshi used to give the technique WHO AM I? And people started using it as a mantra. They would sit with closed eyes and they would go on repeating. ‘Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?’ It had become a mantra. That was not the purpose.
So don’t make it a mantra, and sitting, don’t say, ‘I am existing.’ There is no need. Everyone knows, and you know already that you are existing; there is no need, it is futile. Feel it – I AM EXISTING.
Feeling is a different thing, totally different. Thinking is a trick to escape from feeling. It is not only different, it is a deception.
Tags: Total Unit
