VBT – Meditation 87.5
This Is This
THIS IS MINE AND THIS IS THIS. To feel, ‘This is what life is, THIS IS THIS – this suchness. I was unnecessarily worried. I was unnecessarily a beggar, unnecessarily thinking in terms of begging. I am the master.’
When you are rooted, you are one with the whole, and existence exists for you. You are not a beggar; you become an emperor suddenly. THIS IS THIS.
OH BELOVED, EVEN IN SUCH KNOW ILLIMITABLY.
And while feeling this, don’t create a limit to it. Feel it illimitably. Don’t create a boundary to it; there is none. It ends nowhere. The world begins nowhere; the world ends nowhere. Existence has no beginning and no end. You also don’t have any beginning; you also don’t have any end.
Beginning and end are because of the mind – mind has a beginning and mind has an end. Go backwards, travel backwards into your life: there comes a moment where everything stops – there is a beginning. You can remember back to when you were three years of age, or, at the most, two years of age – that is rare – but then memory stops. You can travel backwards to when you were two years of age. What does it mean? And you cannot remember anything previous to that, previous to that age of two years. Suddenly there is a blank, you don’t know anything.
Do you remember anything about your birth? Do you know anything about the nine months in your mother’s womb? You were, but the mind was not there. Mind started around the age of two; that’s why you can remember back to that age. Then there is no mind, memory stops. Mind has a beginning, the mind has an end, but you are beginningless.
If in deep meditation, in such meditation you can come to feel existence, then there is no mind – a beginningless, endless flow of energy, of cosmic force; an infinite ocean around you, and you are just a wave in it. The wave has a beginning and an end – the ocean has none. And once you know that you are not the wave but the ocean, all misery has disappeared.
What is deep down in your misery? – Deep down there is death. You are afraid of some end which is going to be there. It is absolutely certain; nothing is so certain as death – the fear, the trembling.
Whatsoever you do, you are helpless. Nothing can be done – death is going to be there. And that goes on and on inside in the conscious and unconscious mind. Sometimes it erupts in the conscious – you become afraid of death. You push it down, and then it continues – in the unconscious. Every moment you are afraid of death, of the end.
Mind is going to die, you are not going to die – but you don’t know yourself. You know something which is just a created thing: it has a beginning, it is going to have an end. That which begins must end. If you can find within your being something which never begins, which simply is, which cannot end, then the fear of death disappears. And when the fear of death disappears, love flows through you, not before it.
How can you love when there is going to be death? You can cling to someone, but you cannot love.
You can use someone, but you cannot love. You can exploit someone, but you cannot love.
Love is not possible if fear is there. Fear is poison. Love cannot flower with fear deep inside.
Everyone is going to die. Everyone is standing in a queue waiting for his time. How can you love?
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