VBT – Week’s Meditation 10
When we are silent, it is always between two angers. When we are at ease, it is always between two peaks of tension. When we are celibate, it is only between two sex acts. When we are loving, it is always between two hatreds – remember this.
So when Buddha is silent, do not think this is your silence. When your anger has disappeared, your silence has disappeared also. They both exist together; they cannot be separated. So when Buddha is a brahmachari – a celibate – do not think this is your celibacy. When sex has disappeared, brahmacharya has also disappeared. They both were part of one thing, so they both have disappeared. With a Buddha a very different being is there such as you cannot conceive. You can only conceive of the dichotomy you know. You cannot conceive of what type of man this is, of what has happened to him.
The whole energy has come to a different level, a different plane of existence. The mud has become a lotus, but it is still there. The mud has not been discarded from the lotus; it has been transformed.
So all of the energies within you are accepted by tantra. Tantra is not for discarding anything whatsoever, but for transformation. And tantra says that the first step is to accept. The first step is very difficult – to accept. You may be getting angry many times every day, but to accept your anger is very difficult. To be angry is very easy; to accept your anger is very difficult. Why? You do not feel so much difficulty in being angry, so why do you feel so much difficulty in accepting it?
So those who are cunning will repent immediately. They will get angry and they will repent, they will ask for forgiveness. These are the cunning ones. Why do I call them cunning? Because their anger gives a trembling to their self-image. They begin to feel uneasy. They begin to feel, “I get angry? I am so bad that I get angry?” So the image of a good man trembles. He has to try and make it established again. Immediately he says, “This was bad. I will never do it again. Forgive me.” By asking for forgiveness his self-image is established again. He is okay – back to his previous state when there was no anger. He has canceled his anger by asking for forgiveness. He has called himself bad just to remain good.
That is why you can go on for lives together being angry, being sexual, being possessive, being this and that, but never accepting. This is a trick of the mind. Whatsoever you do is just on the periphery.
In the center, you remain good. If you accept that “I have anger,” in the center you become bad.
If you are sexual, accept it. Whatsoever is there, accept it.
The non-acceptance of nature creates the ego, the non-acceptance of your suchness – your TATHATA, that which you are. If you accept it, the ego will not be there. If you do not accept it, if you reject it, if you create ideals against it, there will be ego. Ideals are the stuff the ego is made of.
Accept yourself. But then you will look like an animal. You will not look like a man because your concept of man is in your ideals. That is why we go on teaching others not to be like animals, and everyone is an animal. What can you do? You ARE an animal. Accept your animality. And the moment you accept your animality, you have done the first thing to go beyond animals – because no animal knows that it is an animal, only man can know. That is going beyond. You cannot go beyond by denying.
Accept! When everything is accepted, suddenly you will feel that you have transcended. Who is accepting? Who accepts the whole? That which accepts has gone beyond. If you reject, you remain on the same plane. If you accept, you go beyond. Acceptance is transcendence. And if you accept yourself totally, suddenly you are thrown to your center. Then you cannot move anywhere.
You cannot move from your suchness, from your nature, so you are thrown to your center.