VBT – Meditation 34.4

VBT – Meditation 34.4

Be Selfish

Drop the self – because that is the most beautiful thing that can happen to you. That will be the greatest contentment that can come to you.

Drop the self, if you really are selfish. If you really want to be blissful, drop the self – because self is creating all your miseries and all your hells.

Difficult because it looks like a paradox. But have you watched? All miseries come to you because of your self because of the ego. You are hurt again and again, you suffer so much because of your ego. It is like a wound which always remains alive, and anything, even a breeze, a cool breeze, hurts you. Somebody smiles and it hurts, somebody laughs and it hurts, somebody is going on his way, maybe lost in his own thoughts, not looking at you, then it hurts.

Mulla Nasruddin was saying to his wife, “Don’t annoy me any more! You are irritating me!” And he was really mad.

The wife said, “But I have not said a single thing. I am doing my work.”

Mulla said, “That’s why. You are keeping so quiet, it is annoying. For god’s sake, say something!”

Now, if you keep quiet, then too somebody can get annoyed. If you speak, then there is trouble. Your ego is ready to be hurt; it will find ways and means to be hurt. So a person who lives with the ego, with the self, is not really a selfish person. He is a foolish person because he only suffers. What type of selfless selfishness is this, if you only suffer?

Drop the self. Forget all about the ego. Be as if you are not, exist as an emptiness, and see – millions of beautiful experiences become available to you. Everything becomes a deep, satisfying experience. Everything brings a gift, a grace. Everything becomes a benediction.

The ego is always expecting and hence it is always being frustrated. The non-egoistic person expects nothing, hence everything is fulfilling; whatsoever happens is tremendous, whatsoever happens is fantastic. Even if he comes across a small grass flower, he is hypnotized by it. “Such a beautiful flower! And I have not done anything, I have not deserved it, and it is there just waiting for me.” Just looking at the sky, and he is fulfilled. Just listening to the birds, a great song arises in his heart. Then everything fulfills him.

Remember, frustration is out of expectation, and ego is always expecting. The ego is a beggar.

You go on putting in your begging bowl houses, cars, bank balances – everything disappears. Again you are empty. Never any satisfaction, never any contentment. Again you are begging. You have been doing it for many lives. It is a truth in everybody’s life, in every man’s life.

You remain a beggar. The begging bowl remains empty. It seems it has no bottom to it. You drop in anything, it simply disappears.

The ego is never fulfilled. So the egoist is a person who is very unselfish. Remember this paradox: the egoist is a person who is very unselfish because he is never fulfilled. The non-egoist is a person who is very selfish because he is fulfilled. He attains bliss.