VBT – Meditation 44.5

Deep Relationship

Why be afraid of it?

But there is a problem. If you are in indulgence, you can remain in indulgence only if you are simultaneously trying to transcend it. That gives a good feeling to the ego: you can feel good and you can postpone. You know this is not going to be forever. You feel, “Today I am indulgent, but tomorrow I will be beyond it.” Tomorrow helps you to be in indulgence today. You know that “Today I am drinking alcohol or smoking, but this is not going to be for all my life. I know this is bad, and tomorrow I am going to leave it.”

That hope for tomorrow helps you to indulge today, and that is a good trick. Those who want to indulge, they must have great ideals. Those ideals give you opportunity. Then you need not feel very guilty about whatsoever you are doing because in the future everything is going to be okay; this is just for the moment. This is a trick of the mind. So those who indulge, they always talk of non-indulgence. Those who indulge, they go to the masters, who are against it. And you can see a deep relationship…

If you are after riches, money, power, you will always worship someone who is against riches – the ascetic. One who has renounced will be your ideal. A rich society can worship and respect only one who has renounced riches. Look around and you will see. If you are indulging in sex, you must respect a person who has gone beyond it, who has become a brahmachari – a celibate. You will worship him. He is the ideal; he is your future. You are thinking that someday you are going to be like this man. You worship him.

And if one day some rumor comes to you that he is indulging in sex, the respect is gone, because you cannot respect yourself. You are so self-condemning of whatsoever you are that if you find that your master is just like you, the respect is gone. He must be just the opposite. Then he gives you hope. Then he can lead you to the opposite end. Then you can follow him.

So there is always a very deep relationship between the followers and the master. You will always see them on opposite poles: the follower will be just on the opposite pole, and he is a follower only because of this. If you are obsessed with food, then you can respect only a person who goes for long fasting. He is “the miracle.” You hope someday to attain the same. He is your future. You can worship him and respect him. He is the image, but this image helps you to be whatsoever you are; it is not going to change you. The very effort to change, the very idea to change, is the hindrance.

This is the insight of tantra.

Tantra says, whatsoever you are, accept it. Do not create any ideals. They are dreams – and false.

Accept whatsoever is. Do not call it good or bad, do not try to justify it or rationalize it. Live in the moment and see that this is the case. Remain with the fact and accept it. This is difficult – very difficult, arduous. Why is it so difficult? Because then your ego is shattered. Then you know that you are a sexual animal. Then the high ideal of brahmacharya cannot help your ego at all. Then you know that you are ninety-nine percent an animal… and that one percent I leave you just not to shock you too much.


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