Authentic Friendliness – In Gita Verse 18.64 Because you are My very dear friend, I am speaking to you My supreme instruction, the most confidential knowledge of all. Hear this from Me, for it is for your benefit.

The Bhagavad Gita Verse 18.64, underscores a moment of profound significance when Krishna conveys his supreme instruction to Arjuna, emphasising the depth of their relationship. Krishna’s message, “Because you are My very dear friend, I am speaking to you My supreme instruction, the most confidential knowledge of all. Hear this from Me, for it is for your benefit,” sets the stage for an intricate discourse on the nature of guidance, friendship, and the essence of authentic relationships.

Despite Krishna’s earnest words, Arjuna remains silent, lost in contemplation about his duties and desires. This silence is emblematic of the human struggle to discern one’s true path amidst life’s complexities. Arjuna’s descent from his elevated state of understanding is swift, illustrating how easily one can falter despite years of progress. The journey of life is delicate; advancement is painstakingly slow, while setbacks can occur in an instant. This highlights the inherent challenge of spiritual and personal growth, where ascending is arduous, but descending is effortless.

Krishna, observing Arjuna’s indecision, implores him to articulate his thoughts and make a choice. If Arjuna had fully grasped Krishna’s teachings, he might have responded with clarity and confidence. Instead, he falls into the trap of overthinking, which seldom yields answers. Krishna, embodying the tireless Guru, patiently waits and continues his guidance, understanding that it is natural for disciples to stray from the path repeatedly. The Guru’s role is to persistently call the disciple back, knowing that eventual return to the path, even after countless deviations, is a significant achievement.

Krishna reassures Arjuna by reiterating his love and the confidential nature of his teachings. This repetition serves to instil confidence and foster devotion in Arjuna. The Guru’s love for the disciple is a catalyst for the disciple’s devotion, a fundamental aspect of the Guru-disciple relationship. By emphasising his affection, Krishna aims to awaken a reciprocal sense of devotion in Arjuna, which is essential for spiritual progress.

Krishna’s assertion that Arjuna is his “very dear friend” signifies an authentic and profound relationship. The concept of authentic friendship extends beyond ordinary social interactions, which are often tainted by biological, economic, or social considerations. True friendship is a form of love devoid of any ulterior motives, a rare phenomenon in contemporary times. It is characterised by selflessness, where the friend’s well-being becomes more important than one’s own. This pure form of love, though attainable even by the unconscious, transforms into a broader, more encompassing concept of friendliness as one becomes more aware and authentic.

Friendship, in its ordinary sense, is vulnerable to change and can turn into enmity. In contrast, friendliness, arising from a state of genuine awareness and authenticity, is unwavering and unconditional. It is a state of being that radiates love universally, without any specific focus or expectation. This quality of love is so pure that it transcends individual relationships and encompasses all existence.

The distinction between friendship and friendliness is crucial. While friendship is directed towards specific individuals and can be subject to change, friendliness is a universal, unaddressed love that emanates from one’s authentic self. It is an existential quality that surrounds and permeates one’s being, creating an aura of love that others can sense and feel.

Gautam Buddha’s assertion that an enlightened person has no friends, but rather embodies friendliness, highlights this distinction. The enlightened being’s love is not confined to individual relationships but extends to all of existence. This universal love, or friendliness, is the purest form of love, free from any contractual or conditional elements.

Krishna’s relationship with Arjuna exemplifies this concept of authentic friendliness. His willingness to impart the most confidential knowledge to Arjuna stems from a place of pure, unaddressed love. The difference between Arjuna and others lies in Arjuna’s readiness to receive this love and knowledge. Arjuna’s authenticity and openness make him a suitable recipient of Krishna’s teachings, whereas others may not be prepared to embrace such profound wisdom.

The essence of Krishna’s message to Arjuna is a testament to the transformative power of authentic relationships and the unwavering guidance of a true Guru. The journey towards understanding and embodying authentic friendliness requires a deep commitment to self-awareness and authenticity. As we strive to cultivate these qualities, we open ourselves to the possibility of experiencing the purest form of love and the profound wisdom that accompanies it.

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