VBT – Meditation 83.0
BEFORE DESIRE AND BEFORE KNOWING, HOW CAN I SAY I AM? CONSIDER. DISSOLVE IN THE BEAUTY.
A Desire Arises
BEFORE DESIRE AND BEFORE KNOWING, HOW CAN I SAY I AM?
A desire arises: with the desire, the feeling that I AM arises. A thought arises: with the thought, the feeling that I AM arises. Look for it in your own experience. Before desire and before knowing, there is no ego.
Sit silently. Look within. A thought arises: you get identified with the thought. A desire arises: you get identified with the desire. In the identification you become the ego. Then think: there is no desire and there is no knowledge and no thought – you cannot get identified with anything. The ego cannot arise.
Buddha used this technique and he said to his disciples not to do anything else but just one thing: when a thought arises, note it down. Buddha used to say that when a thought arises, note down that a thought is arising. Just inside, note it: now a thought is arising, now a thought has arisen, now a thought is disappearing. Just remember that now the thought is arising, now the thought has arisen, now the thought is disappearing, so that you don’t get identified with it.
It is very beautiful and very simple. A desire arises. You are walking on the road; a beautiful car passes by. You look at it – and you have not even looked and the desire to possess it arises. Do it.
In the beginning just verbalize; just say slowly, ‘I have seen a car. It is beautiful. Now a desire has arisen to possess it.’ Just verbalize.
In the beginning it is good; if you can say it loudly, it is very good. Say loudly, ‘I am just noting that a car has passed, the mind has said it is beautiful, and now desire has arisen and I must possess this car.’ Verbalize everything, speak loudly to yourself and immediately you will feel that you are different from it. Note it.
When you have become efficient in noting, there is no need to say it loudly. Just inside, note that a desire has arisen. A beautiful woman passes; the desire has come in. Just note it – as if you are not concerned, you are just noting the fact that is happening – and then suddenly you will be out of it.
Buddha says, ‘Note down whatsoever happens. Just go on noting, and when it disappears, again note that now that desire has disappeared, and you will feel a distance from the desire, from the thought.’
This technique says: BEFORE DESIRE AND BEFORE KNOWING, HOW CAN I SAY I AM?
And if there is no desire and if there is no thought, how can you say I AM? How can I say I AM?
Then everything is silent, not a ripple is there. And without any ripple how can I create this illusion of I? If some ripple is there I can get attached to it and through it I can feel I AM. When there is no ripple in the consciousness, there is no I.
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