When I tell you to trust me, I am simply saying that a certain climate has happened to me: have a glimpse of it. Come, let that climate surround you also. Let me vibrate in your heart; let me pulsate around you; let me throb in the deepest core of your being; let me resound in you. I am singing a song here – let it be echoed so that you can know that, “Yes, the song is possible.” Buddha is gone, Jesus is not here; it’s natural. Listening to Jesus is not possible for you. You can read the Bible; it simply depicts something that happened somewhere in time, but you cannot believe it. It may be just a myth, a story. Buddha may be just of a poetic imagination; poets may have created him. Who knows? – Because in life you don’t come across such men. Unless you come across a religious man, religion will remain somewhere like a dream. It will never become a reality. If you come across a man who has tasted the truth, who has lived in a different world and in a different dimension, to whom God has happened and to whom God is not just a theory, but a fact like breathing, then trust him, go into him. Then don’t hesitate; then take courage. Then be a little bold. Then don’t be a coward and don’t go on slinking outside the door; enter the temple. Of course, this temple is not going to become an abode for you. You will have to create your own temple – because God can be worshipped only when you have created your own temple. In a borrowed temple, God cannot be worshipped. God is a creator and respects only creativity. And the basic creativity is to create a temple of your own. No, borrowed temples won’t do. But, how to create a-temple?
In the first place, it is almost impossible to believe that temples have ever existed. Jesus’ existence remains doubtful; Buddha looks like a myth, not like history; Krishna is even more in the world of dreams. The farther back you go in history, the more and more things fade into mythologies. No signature is left on reality.
When I say trust me, I simply mean: don’t stand outside. If you have come so close to me, come a little more, close. If you have come, then come in. Then let my climate surround you. That will become an existential experience to you. Looking into my eyes, entering into my heart, it will become impossible for you then to distrust Jesus. It will be impossible for you then to say that Buddha is just a myth. But still, I will go on saying that if Buddha comes, meets you on the path, kill him.
Come through me, but don’t stay there. Have the experience and go on your way. If the experience is lost again in memories and fades out, come again to me while I’m available here. Have another dip, but remember continuously that you have to create something of your own. Only then can you live in it. I can be a holiday, at the most, from your ordinary life, but I cannot become your life. You will have to change your life.
Now, the mind is very cunning. If I say trust me, the mind feels it is difficult. Trusting somebody else is very ego-destroying. If I say just trust yourself, the mind feels very good. But just by feeling good, nothing happens. I say to you, trust yourself. If it is possible, there is no need to trust me; if it is not possible, then try the other. Mind is always in search, through everything to somehow make itself more strengthened.
I will tell you one anecdote.
A country dweller moved to the big city, and every Sunday for about six months, he attended a different church in an endeavor to find a congenial congregation. Finally, one Sunday morning, he entered a church just as the congregation recited with the minister, “We have left undone those things which we ought to have done, and we have done those things which we ought not to have done.” He sat down with a sigh of relief and satisfaction, murmuring to himself, “At last I have found my lot.”
You are just trying to find something which does not disturb you. On the contrary, it strengthens your old mind. It strengthens you as you are. That is the whole effort of the mind: to perpetuate itself.
You will have to be mindful about it. The mind has the tendency to hear not that which is said, but that which it wants to hear.
Harry had married his elderly, ugly wife only for her money. Of course, he found plenty of ways to spend it, like the present safari trek through the African jungle. When a huge alligator slipped out of the marshes, grabbed his wife between its teeth and started to pull her away, Harry did not move a muscle. “Quick! Shoot it!! Shoot it!” screamed his unfortunate wife. Harry shrugged, “I would love to, dear, but I haven’t any film in my camera.”
The mind has the tendency to hear what it wants to hear. Never think that you are hearing me. You go on manipulating it in many ways. When something enters your head, you don’t listen to it directly. First, you mix it with your ideas; you change here and there. A few things you drop, a few things you add. Then of course it starts suiting you, by and by, and you convince yourself that that is what was said to you.
A tramp collapsed on a London street during a very hot spell, and immediately a crowd gathered around him.
“Give the poor fellow a drop of whisky,” said an old lady.
“Give him some air,” said a man.
“Give him some whisky,” said the old lady again.
“Take him to the hospital,” said another gent.
“Give him some whisky,” said the old dear once again.
The conversation went on like this till the tramp sat up and yelled, “Will you all belt up and listen to the old lady!”
Even when you are unconscious, you can listen to what you want to listen to; and even when you are conscious you are not listening to what is being said to you.
One beggar comes here to listen to me. That beggar approached a fellow in the main street and said, “Give me a few annas for a cup of coffee.” The man said, “But I gave you eight annas only ten minutes ago.” The tramp said, “Oh, stop living in the past.” Continuously I am teaching you to stop living in the past – perfectly true.
Remember, your mind continuously is playing tricks on you. There is no contradiction; contradiction is created by you.
Now, I will read the remaining part of the question – see the emphasis. “There is a part of me that says if I trust my own self and follow my own self, then I have surrendered and said yes to you.” But this is only a part; and what about the remaining? If you trust this part, the remaining mind will say, “What are you doing?” That’s how the doubt arises. If you listen to the remaining part, this part will go on creating doubts. This is how the mind moves – always in a dichotomy. It divides itself against itself, and it goes on playing the game of hide and seek. So whatsoever you do, frustration comes – whatsoever. But the frustration is bound to come. If you trust me, one part of your mind will go on saying, “What are you doing?” I have always been telling you, just trust yourself. If you don’t trust me and trust yourself, the other part of the mind will continuously be frustrating. It will say, “What are you doing? Trust him. Surrender.” Now, look at the dichotomy of the mind.
If you can see this constant division of the mind which is never able to come to a total decision, then by and by, a different type of consciousness will arise in you which can decide totally. That is not of the mind. That’s why I say that surrender is not of the mind. Trust is not of the mind. Mind cannot trust. Distrust is very intrinsic to mind; it is inbuilt. Mind exists; on distrust, on doubt. When you are in too much doubt, you see too much mentation around inside, moving. Mind gets into too much activity. But when you trust, there is nothing for the mind to do. Have you watched it? When you say, “No!” you throw a rock into the silent pool of your consciousness; millions of ripples arise. When you say, “Yes” you are not throwing any rock. At the most, you may be floating a rose flower in the lake.
Without any ripple, the flower floats. That’s why people find it very difficult to say yes, and find it very easy to say no. ‘No’ is always just ready. Even before you have heard, the no is ready.
I was staying with Mulla Nasrudin once. I heard the wife saying to Nasrudin, “Nasrudin, just go and see what the boy is doing, and stop him.”
She does not know what the boy is doing: “Just go and see what the boy is doing, and stop him.”
Whatsoever it is, is not the point; but stopping, saying no. Denying comes easy; it enhances the ego.
The ego feeds on no; the mind feeds on doubt, suspicion, distrust. You cannot trust me through the mind. You will have to see the dichotomy of the mind – the constant duel, the constant debate inside the mind. One part is always functioning as the opposition.
The mind never comes to a decision. There are always a few fragments of the mind as dissenters.
They wait for their opportunity, and they will frustrate you.
Then what is trust? How can you trust? You have to understand the mind. By understanding the mind and the constant duality in it, by witnessing it, you become separate from the mind. And in that separation arises trust, and that trust knows no division between me and you. That trust knows no division between you and life. That trust is simply trust. It is unaddressed trust, not addressed to anybody – because if you trust me, you will immediately distrust somebody. Whenever you trust somebody, immediately, on the other end, you will be mistrusting somebody else. If you believe in the Koran, you cannot believe in Buddha. If you trust in Jesus, you cannot trust in Buddha. What type of trust is this? It is of no worth.
Trust is unaddressed. It is neither addressed to Christ, nor to Buddha. It’s simple trust. You simply trust because you enjoy trusting. You simply trust, and you enjoy trusting so much that even when you are deceived, you enjoy. You enjoy that you could trust even when there was every possibility of deception, that the deception could not destroy your trust, that your trust was greater, that the deceiver could not corrupt you. He may have taken your money, he may have taken your prestige, he may have robbed you completely, but you will enjoy it. And you will feel tremendously happy and blissful that he could not corrupt your trust; you still trust him. And if he comes again to rob you you will be ready; you still trust him. So the person who was deceiving you may have robbed you materially, but he has enriched you spiritually.
But what happens ordinarily? One man deceives you and the whole of humanity is condemned. One Christian deceives you; all Christians are condemned. One Mohammedan has not behaved well with you; the whole community of Mohammedans are sinners. One Hindu has not been good to you; all Hindus are worthless. You simply wait. Just a single man can create a distrust of the whole of humanity.
A man of trust goes on trusting. Whatsoever happens to his trust, one thing never happens: he never allows anybody to destroy his trust. His trust goes on increasing. Trust is God. People have told you to trust in God; I tell you, trust is God. Forget all about God; just trust, and God will come seeking and searching for you wherever you are.Tags: Patanjali Trust Is God