The Ecology Of Existence
What I said was let it be a freedom. If you want to be together it is perfectly beautiful, the day you want to depart, depart lovingly, with gratefulness to each other for all those beautiful moments that you have given to each other.
The departure should be as beautiful as was your meeting. It should certainly be more beautiful, because you have lived so long together, you have grown roots into each other although you are deciding to leave. But the memories will haunt you. You have loved each other. It does not matter that now you feel it is difficult to be together, there was a time you wanted to be together for lives. So depart without any conflict, without any quarrel – you were two strangers who met. Again you are becoming strangers with a great treasure that happened between the two of you. You have to be grateful to each other while departing.
But if the love continues, I have not said that you have to break it. I have said you have not to do anything against it. If it goes on for your whole life, until your grave, that too is good. And if it lasts only for one night, and in the morning you feel that you are not for each other, but still you gave a beautiful night to each other, you have to be thankful for it.
The questioner has misunderstood me. The questioner thinks that I am telling my people, “Change your partners as quickly as possible.” I am not saying that. I am simply saying, as long as love is the only binding force, be together. The moment you both start feeling that something has become past, that it is no longer present.you can drag on, but it will be deceiving each other. It is ugly to deceive a man you have loved; it is ugly to deceive a woman you have loved. It is better to be honest and say, “This is the time we should separate, because the love has gone and we are not capable of holding love.”
There are things which come and go on their own accord. When you fell in love with someone, it was not you – you had not decided it. Suddenly it happened; you could not have answered why it happened. You can simply say, “I found myself in love.” Just remember the first meeting, and also remember the way love comes – in the same way it goes. One day, suddenly in the morning you wake up, and you find the love has left. The husband is there, you are there, but something between you that was a bridge, a constant flow of energy, has disappeared. You are two, but you are alone and the other is alone. That “together” is no longer there, and the mystery that was keeping it together is not in your hands. You cannot force it to come back.
Millions of couples are doing that – hoping that perhaps it will come back, hoping that praying may help, going to the church may help, getting somebody’s blessings may help, some marriage counselor may help.but nothing is going to help.
Excerpted From The Sword And The Lotus CH: 7
