Desire – In Gita Verse 7.22 Endowed with such a faith, he endeavors to worship a particular demigod and obtains his desires. But in actuality these benefits are bestowed by Me alone.
Krishna says that even when someone obtains his desire, in actuality I have bestowed. Why? As Krishna knows that by allowing it to manifest his desire, he will be surrendering, he will be total. For Krishna we can choose anything but ultimately aim as human beings, we need to grow in consciousness.
Also desiring itself will become futile if you can become aware of this. As you surrender you become aware of the fact that as soon as you manifest your desire it becomes futile.
This is the trick Krishna is playing with us by fulfilling our desires.
The whole trick is that you always become aware that some object has become futile. Then you change the object, and in changing the object the desire continues to take hold of your consciousness. It always happens that when this house becomes useless then another house becomes attractive; when this man becomes unattractive, repulsive, then another man becomes attractive. This goes on; and the moment you become aware of the futility of what you are desiring, the mind goes on to some other objects.
When this happens, the gap is lost. When something becomes futile, useless, unattractive, it remains in the gap…. Be aware of whether the object has become futile or whether it is desiring itself that is futile. And if you can feel the very futility of desire, suddenly something drops in you. Suddenly you are transformed to a new level of consciousness. This is a nothingness, an absence, a negativity; no new circle begins.
At this moment, you are out of the wheel of samsara, the world. But you cannot make it an object of your desire to be out of the wheel. Do you feel the distinction? You cannot make desirelessness an object.
All of us knows that BUDDHA’S DESIRE FOR REALIZATION: Yes, it was a desire; Buddha had the desire. When Buddha said, “I will not leave this place. I am not going to leave unless I achieve enlightenment,” it was a desire. And with this desire, a vicious circle set in. Even for Buddha it set in.
Buddha could not achieve enlightenment for a long time because of this desire. Because of it, he searched and searched for six years. He did everything that was possible to be done, that could be done. He did everything, but he did not get even an inch nearer; he remained the same, even more frustrated. He had left the world, renounced everything for the sake of realization, and nothing had come of it. For six years continuously every effort was made, but nothing came of it.
Then one day, near Bodh Gaya, he came to take a bath in the Niranjana – the river there. He was so weak because of so much fasting that he could not come out of the river. He just remained there by the root of a tree. He was so weak that he could not step out of the river. The thought came to his mind that if he had become so weak that he could not even cross a small river, then how could he cross the greater ocean of existence? So on that particular day, even the desire to achieve realization became futile. He said, “Enough!”
He came out of the water and sat under a tree, the bodhi tree. That particular night the very desiring to achieve became futile. He had desired the world and found that it was just a dream, and not only a dream – a nightmare. For six years continuously he had desired enlightenment, and that too proved to be only a dream. And not only a dream: it proved to be an even deeper nightmare.
He was completely frustrated; there was nothing left to desire. He had known the world very well – he had known it very well – and he could not go back to it; there was nothing for him there. He had known the effort of so-called religions, of all the religions that were prominent in India; he had practiced all of their techniques, and nothing had come of it. There was nothing else to try now, no motivation remained, so he just dropped down on the ground near the bodhi tree and for the whole night he remained there – without any desire. There was nothing left to desire; desiring itself had become futile.
In the morning, when he awakened, the last star was setting. He looked at the star and for the first time in his life his eyes were without any mist, because he was without any desire. The last star was setting, and as the star set, something in him withered with it: the self, because the self cannot exist without desiring. And he became enlightened.
This enlightenment came at a moment when there was no desire. And it had been prevented by six years of desiring. Really, the phenomenon happens only when you are out of the circle. So even Buddha, because of desiring enlightenment, had to wander uselessly for six years. This moment of transformation – this jumping out of the circle, out of the wheel of life – only comes, only happens, when there is no desire. Buddha said, “I achieved it when there was no achieving mind; I found it when there was no search. This happened only when there was no effort.”
Even Krishna says – Endowed with such a faith, he endeavors to worship a particular demigod and obtains his desires – he knows that unless your achieving mind drops your desire cannot be fulfilled. Krishna always says yes to whatever we are doing and also blesses us with requests to do it in totality. As in totality we grow in consciousness.
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