VBT – Meditation 42.5
In Its Total Intensity
Whatsoever the pain of it and whatsoever the suffering of it, let it be so. First experience it in its total intensity. It will be difficult, it will be heart-rending: you may start crying like a child, you may start rolling on the ground in deep pain, your body may go through contortions. You may suddenly become aware that the pain is not only in the heart, it is all over the body — that it is aching all over, that it is painful all over, that your whole body is nothing but pain. If you can experience it — this is of tremendous importance — then start absorbing it.
Don’t throw it away. It is such a valuable energy, don’t throw it away. Absorb it, drink it, accept it, welcome it, feel grateful to it. And say to yourself “This time I’m not going to avoid it, this time I’m not going to reject it, this time I’m not going to throw it away. This time I will drink it and receive it like a guest. This time I will digest it.” It may take a few days for you to be able to digest it, but the day it happens, you have stumbled upon a door which will take you really far far away.
A new journey has started in your life, you are moving into a new kind of being — because immediately, the moment you accept the pain with no rejection anywhere, its energy and its quality changes. It is no longer pain. In fact one is simply surprised, one cannot believe it, it is so incredible. One cannot believe that suffering can be transformed into ecstasy, that pain can become joy. Whenever anything is total it turns into its opposite.
This is a great secret to be remembered. Whenever something is total it changes into its opposite, because there is no way to go any further; the cul-de-sac has arrived. Watch an old clock with a pendulum. It goes on and on: the pendulum goes to the left, to the extreme left, and then there is a point beyond which it cannot go, then it starts moving towards the right. Opposites are complementaries. If you can suffer your suffering in totality, in great intensity, you will be surprised…you will not be able to believe it when it happens for the first time, that your own suffering absorbed willingly, welcomingly, becomes a great blessing. The same energy that becomes hate becomes love, the same energy that becomes pain becomes pleasure, the same energy that becomes suffering becomes bliss.
Tantra says, things happen when you do not expect them, things happen when you do not force them, things happen when you are not hankering after them.
Bliss is not a result, it is a consequence. If I tell you that if you love you will be happy, happiness will be a consequence, not a result. If you think that because you want to be happy you must love, nothing will come out of it. The whole thing will be bogus because one cannot love for any result.
Love happens! There is no motivation behind it.
If there is motivation, it is not love. It may be anything else. If I am motivated and I think that because I long for happiness I will love you, this love will be false. And because it will be false, happiness will not result out of it. It will not come; that is impossible. But if I love you without any motivation, happiness follows like a shadow.
Tantra says, acceptance will be followed by transformation, but do not make acceptance a technique for transformation. It is not! Do not long for transformation – only then does transformation happen.
Tags: In Its Total Intensity
