VBT – Week’s Meditation 43
Non-Choosing
If one denies sex, he will move to BRAHMACHARYA, celibacy – to the other extreme. If you deny brahmacharya, you will move to indulgence – to the other extreme. The moment you deny, you have accepted the extreme path.
Acceptance of totality is to be automatically in the middle. You are neither for something nor against something. You have not chosen, you are just floating in the stream. You are not moving toward a goal – you have no choice. You are in a let-go.
Tantra believes in a deep let-go. When you choose, your ego comes in. When you choose, your will comes in. When you choose, you are moving against the whole universe – you have your own choice. When you choose, you are not choosing the universal flow: you are standing aloof, isolated; you are like an island. You are trying to be yourself against the whole flux of life.
Non-choosing means you are not to decide where life goes. You allow life to move, to take you with it, and you have no fixed goal. If you have a fixed goal, you are bound to choose. Life’s goal is your goal. You are not moving against life; you have no ideas of your own against life. You leave yourself, you surrender yourself, to the life force itself. This is what tantra means by total acceptance.
And once you accept life in its totality things start happening, because this total acceptance frees you from your ego point. Your ego point is the problem, because of it you create problems. There are no problems in life itself; existence is problem-less. You are the problem and you are the creator of the problem, and you create problems out of everything. Even if you meet God, you will create problems out of him. Even if you reach paradise, you will create problems out of paradise – because you are the original source of the problems. You are not going to surrender. This non-surrendering ego is the source of all problems.
Tantra says that it is not a question of achieving something; it is not a question of achieving brahmacharya. If you achieve brahmacharya – celibacy – against sex, your brahmacharya will remain basically sexual. Two extremes, howsoever opposite, are parts of one whole – two aspects of one thing. If you choose one, you have chosen the other also. The other will be hidden now, repressed. What does repression mean? Choosing one extreme against the other, which is a basic part of it.
You choose brahmacharya against sex, but what is brahmacharya? It is just the reversal of sex energy, You have chosen brahmacharya, but you have also chosen sex with it. Now brahmacharya will be on the surface, and deep down there will be sex. You will be disturbed because your choice will create the disturbance. You can choose only one pole, and the other pole follows automatically.
And you are against the other pole, so now you will be disturbed.
Tantra says, do not choose: be choiceless. Once you understand this, the question will never arise of what is indulgence and what is repression. Then there is no repression and no indulgence. The question arises only because you are still choosing. There are people who have questions, “We will accept life, but if we accept life when will brahmacharya happen?” They are ready to be in total acceptance, but the readiness is false, just superficial. Deep down they are still clinging to the extremes.
If you have something to achieve, you cannot accept the totality; the acceptance is not total. Then you are also trying acceptance as a technique to achieve something. Acceptance means: now you leave that achieving mind, that motivated mind that is always for something, hankering for something – you leave it! You allow life to flow freely, just as the wind is flowing through the trees. You allow life to be free, to move freely through you; you have no resistance. Wherever it leads, you are ready to move. You have no goal. If you have any goal then you will have to resist life, then you will have to fight it.
Tags: Non-Choosing
