Will you be my catalyst towards God-realization?
My approach is that the more you forget about God, the better. Leave him alone. Realize yourself. This is again an escape from your problems. God-realization, nirvana, moksha: these are avoiding your real problems, these are ways you start going outward. Go inward. Self-realization is the thing: God-realization comes out of it, grows out of it. It will take care of itself, you need not worry about it.
At least do a small thing – know who you are. You don’t even know yourself, and you have started working for God-realization? I can be a catalyst to self-realization, and out of self-realization, God-realization comes on its own accord.
But remember, to be a catalyst is a very thankless job because if I am to be a catalyst for your self-realization, I will also be a catalyst for many ugly things that you are carrying within you. I will be a catalyst for your anger and I will be a catalyst for your hatred and I will be a catalyst for your greed and I will be a catalyst for your violence and I will be a catalyst for your suicidalness, murderousness – all that you are carrying. And behind all that is hidden yourself. You will have to cathart all that, only then. Don’t be angry with me. You yourself are asking, “Will you be my catalyst?” That’s what I am, that’s what a master is supposed to be. That’s his function, to be a catalyst.
And that is what sannyas means from your side: to allow me to be your catalyst. Sannyas is a gesture that you are ready to go with me; even if I am going to hell you are ready to go with me. And remember, the way to heaven goes through hell. Then don’t be angry..
I have heard:
A girl learned that compulsive emotion-reactions were called stresses. And the more she learned, the more stresses she discovered. Her job was a stress, and the improper fit of her clothing was a stress. Taking the garbage outside was a stress, and washing the dishes was a stress.
Now, stresses are tricky things, they can be redirected. For example, the girl had a boyfriend who liked to remind her of stresses. At dinner she said, “I just hate asparagus!”
And he helpfully replied, “That’s a stress!”
At the theater she remarked, “I can’t stand waiting in lines!”
“Merely a stress,” he said.
As you may imagine, the direction of the stresses began to change, and it was not long before her boyfriend became the target of her anger.
“You are becoming a stress,” she said.
Excerpted From The Stretched Soul Makes Music CH: 2