Costly Varieties

How to Be Yourself in a World That Wants to Change You – II

3. Only say things you mean

Nothing is more damaging to your self-worth than saying things you don’t mean. This goes hand-in-hand with trying to please others because you’re afraid to rub someone the wrong way. Being true to your values and ethos is the greatest gift you can give yourself. This allows you to be open and honest with yourself in ways you couldn’t imagine. When something comes up that either bothers you or goes against what you believe, allow yourself to live in the discomfort and politely speak your truth. Usually, people say things they don’t mean because they don’t know how to sit with things that make them uncomfortable, so they’d rather avoid it all together by just doing what the other person wants.

4. Get to know yourself better

You won’t be able to be your true self if you don’t know who you are or what you want out of life. Take a few moments and sit with your thoughts. Write in a journal, take a few personality quizzes, ask your family about their history — heck, check your astrology chart. The more you understand your personality, your likes and dislikes, and where you come from, the more you’ll be able to gauge who you want to be.

5. Try not to overanalyze and be fully present in every moment

Engaging in a conversation with someone can be overwhelming for some when you overanalyze every scenario. Why did I say that? Are they bored with what I’m saying? Think of something funny to say so they like me! just might be a few things that would run through your head. However, by having these conversations with yourself, you’re refusing to be present.

Ideally, you want to switch this dialogue to not critique everything you do but to easily flow with what’s going on outside of your mind. Essentially, by being present, you’re allowing yourself to focus on what’s actually happening in front of you instead of focusing on the assumptions that you’re coming up with.

6. Be kind to yourself and appreciate who you are

At the end of the day, you should be kind and nurturing to yourself while you’re trying to figure out how to be more like yourself. Don’t beat yourself up or compare yourself to someone else when it seems so easy for them to be open and honest with their thoughts. You’re assuming that they’re comfortable in their skin, when in reality, they could be having the exact same thoughts that you are.

Remind yourself to focus on your own journey. Do everything in your power to find your voice and take the next steps to live the life you’ve always wanted. As hard as it is to remember,  nothing is more powerful than being yourself in a world that wants you to be like everyone else, when being like everyone else is, frankly, boring.