VBT – Meditation 37.5
A Corresponding Feeling
Freud says that man has two basic instincts: libido – eros – the will to live, the will to be, the will to continue, the will to exist. And thanatos – the will to die. There are particular sounds which, if you repeat them, the will to die will come to you. Then you would like to just drop into death. There are sounds which give you eros – which give you more libido, which give you more lust to live, to be.
If you create those sounds within you, that particular feeling will overwhelm you. There are sounds which give you a feeling of peace and silence, there are sounds which create anger. So do not use any sound, any mantra, unless it is given to you by a master who knows what is going to happen through it.
When you come down from sounds, you will be aware. Each sound has its counterpart in feeling.
Each sound has a corresponding feeling that goes with it, just hidden behind it. Then move to the feeling; forget the sound and move to the feeling. It is difficult to explain, but you can do it. And there were techniques for this. Particularly in Zen, there were techniques. A particular mantra would be given to a seeker. If he was doing it rightly inside, the master could know from the face. The master could know from the face whether he was doing it rightly or not because a particular feeling would come. If the sound is created, then the feeling is bound to come, and it will be on the face. You cannot deceive a master. He knows by your face what is happening inside.
Dozo was a great master, but he himself was very much disturbed, when he was a disciple, about how his master came to know what he was experiencing. And the Zen master moved with his staff and he would hit you immediately. If something goes wrong with your sound inside, he will hit you immediately. So Dozo asked, “But how do you know? And you hit me exactly at the right moment. How do you know?”
The face expresses the feeling, not the sound. The sound cannot be expressed by the face, but the face is bound to express the feeling. And the deeper you move, the more your face becomes flexible to express, more liquid. It immediately shows what is happening inside. This face which you have right now will drop because this is a mask – this is not a face. When you move in, masks fall down because they are not needed. Masks are needed for others.
Because of this, the old masters insisted on moving away from the world. This was so that you could move away from the mask easily; otherwise others will be there, and because of them you have to carry masks. You do not love your wife or your husband, but you have to carry a mask – a loving face, a false loving face. The moment you enter the house, you arrange your face: you come in and you start laughing. This is not your face.
Zen masters insisted that the first one should attain the original face, because with the original face everything becomes easy. Then the master can simply know what is happening. So enlightenment was never reported. If some seeker attained enlightenment, he was not to report to the master that he had attained because the master would simply know. He would tell the disciple. No disciple was allowed to tell the master, “I have attained.” There was no need. The face will show, the eyes will show, the very movement, the walking, will show. Whatsoever he does, every gesture will show that he has attained.
Tags: A Corresponding Feeling
