Challenge Negativity
Challenge Negativity
Negativity can be debilitating and take up a lot of room in your mind. Feeling sad and disappointed is healthy, but toxic self-talk magnifies your misfortune, skewing your perceptions of reality.
The first thing to do is become aware of how you talk to yourself. What are you saying in your mind about yourself? Be on the lookout for red flags, such as victimizing thoughts (“Poor me” type of thinking). If you notice that the thoughts in your head or the words on your paper after your journaling exercise are toxic self-talk, it’s time to change your mindset.
To change your mindset, you need to start challenging yourself. Is the thought accurate or is it distorted? Each time you prove to yourself that the negative self-talk is incorrect, your mind will start to replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. And when that happens, your mind will shift from feeling heavy, cluttered, and chaotic (negativity) to lighter and free (positivity).
A part of challenging yourself is to start gaining more positive experiences. Practice gratitude and compassion by doing something to make your life or someone else’s life a little bit better. When you catch yourself thinking negatively, do something that helps you or someone else. That way, the next time you experience negative self-talk, you can acknowledge that your brain isn’t always right.
Asked yourself a question. “I’ve done a lot of work on myself, and I’ve made enough progress in my spiritual growth to be able to witness the part of me that still gets hurt and feels victimized.”
Byron Katie’s “The Work” can be quite helpful in situations like this.
1. Identify your belief and ask yourself “Is it true?” Your Small Self will tend to say “Yes, it’s true. That belief is rock solid true.” But simply asking the question can begin to loosen the belief’s grip on you.
2. Can you be absolutely sure this belief is rock solid true?
In other words, can you think of even one instance when this belief is not true? Many of our beliefs were inherited from childhood. So is it true that I’m never enough? Is it true that I’m too much? Can I be absolutely sure this is true? Well . . . no.
3. How do you feel when you believe this belief to be true?
When I fell into the feeling of “It’s never enough. I try and try, and then I’m too much, and people leave,” I felt small, disempowered, and victimized. My gut felt twisted. I felt sad. If you get weepy when you feel what it feels like to believe this belief, chances are good that this belief is not serving you, and you’d feel more free if you could let it go. Which takes us to the next step.
4. Who would you be without this belief?
Most of us felt liberation, a profound sense of calm. It would feel like a million pounds off your shoulders to let go of the belief.
5. Turn the belief around.
The turnaround can come in a variety of forms. It may be the direct opposite of whatever belief leaves you feeling like a victim. Often, the turnaround can be turned around to the self, to the other, or to the opposite. For example, if your belief is, “Mom didn’t love me enough,” turnarounds might be, “I didn’t love me enough” or “I didn’t love Mom enough” or “Mom loved me just the right amount.”
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